Is he an asshole? Maybe not but he sounds like he either has an attachment or personality disorder. To have that ripped away from you is soul crushingly painful. A child is not only part of you, but is a loving relationship you are nurturing for a lifetime. Pets are meant to go after a decade or so. When you get a pet you prepare for its loss at the same time. People who are like- eh the kid was only six weeks old clearly have NO idea what it is like to lose a child at any age. He really just wasn't anywhere near as devastated about the loss of their child as she was. It is just her realizing whatever she was feeling after the loss of the baby is now obviously painfully true. I think this isn't about the tattoo at all.
He literally says his wife was devastated about the loss of their baby. Is he the asshole for getting a tattoo? No. They need to sort it out individually and then together to be on the same page again. They both have different experiences, thoughts, and feelings about all of this. He and his wife need more therapy before their second baby comes soon. I've lost and some tattoos myself I won't ever be able to do. If a bear tattoo makes OOP smile and have fond memories then that's a good tattoo to have, but he shouldn't be condemned by strangers for not wanting a permanent reminder of grief on himself. Some of my toughest moments with grief were the silent, literally lung and heart hurting cries that no one saw. He isn't wrong with his one comment either that someone doesn't need to be screaming and crying to show grief. He got dragged with people saying he never even cared for his son, but literally no one can even comprehend what he went through unless they've been in his shoes (aka hospital ride, death certificate, cremation or casket decision, burial, etc). Grief really isn't linear with an "end" in sight. He makes a lot of comments that still sound like denial after the fact. People who also haven't lost a 6 week old baby or child may not be able to see that he doesn't want to become emotionally vulnerable again and will hide his emotions instead. He also dealt with therapy for years for his grief. He may not have bonded with his son like his wife did. He got dragged in the comments and I think a lot of people missed some factors. They should be coming together not knick picking She going to be reminded he did it because she force him to. Honestly she not going to be happy if he got it removed or had a tattoo in honor of their baby. I’m not doing something because I’m being pressured. Honestly personally in stubborning, I don’t like being told what to do you have to do this or that or I’m going to divorce. He needs to tell her he does love that baby and sad to lose him, he will eventually get a tat in memory of him but right now he can’t it’s too early for him. She should asking him questions that is bothering really. But I get him my dog was everything to me. She should get a tattoo in honor of their baby. She was triggered by him get a tattoo in honor of his old dog. I think the wife feels he isn’t mourning their baby the same.
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